Impetus

I'm snuggled neatly on the couch with The Little One and its about 5pm. Just twelve hours before, I was rubbing his back and handing him Wet Ones while he puked up cherry vodka & scotch into my toilet. Now, he had taken care of me beautifully when a night of free Jaeger shots with vodka cran chasers had gone horribly wrong in a New York bar over a year ago, and that's what kept me in my bathroom for hours without so much as gagging. I owed him. Big.

We have been watching tv and recapping through belly-laughter for hours with my four buddies, all recouping from the birthday party the night (well, morning) before. As everyone drifted away from the couch, trying as best they could to get out of pj's or at least showering before putting them back on, I motioned for The Little One to sit next to me. This was about a half hour ago. The Little One is 15 years my junior and my first and only venture into Cougarville. We are not together. We never really were 'together' except for a couple weeks at a regional theatre we had worked at 2 years ago. But I am comfortable with his affection and we are toying with each others hands under a pillow. He had been giving me sweet lil pecks towards the end of the party and now that he has graduated and moved just seven minutes away, the thought of getting some physical release is becoming a bit obsessive. I have had no such release in the 8 months I've been living here in LA.

Then something happened. His cell rang. And he practically leapt like a superhero off of the couch and onto our small landing out the back door. For privacy.

And that, my readers, is why I started writing this blog.

I'd like to explain my Cool Girl persona for just a minute.
Cool Girl can hang with the guys. She does shots of brown liquor without chasers. She uses words like 'cock' and 'pussy' without pause. She sometimes yells like Belushi in Animal House. She introduces guys she thinks are hot to her Broadway-dancer girlfriends in hopes that they will get together. She doesn't mind when someone she's messed around with talks about a new girl he's seeing and she definitely, DEFINITELY does NOT flinch when a sweet young thang she has been up for hours taking care of runs off to answer the call from a girl he met in this very house at a party she has hosted the very night before.

Cool Girl. Needs. To DIIIIIIIE.

I am writing this because I want to remind myself constantly about what Cool Girl has gotten me. Besides a buncha bullshit? NOTHING.

Here's the great irony of this situation: Cool Girl is at fault for begining the whole Summer/Winter Shenanigans in the first place. I was doing my first professional Shakespeare gig and was tooootally intimidated by the Yale-ies and the Julliards and all the other Ivy League-Smarty-Pants in the cast with me. I was the sole female of the clowns, so all I did was work with the boys all day and they were funny, funny fuckers and... terrifying. There were seven college kids studying theatre who were ensemble players and one of the young girls had every man in the room drooling; they even wrote a song on a ukulele about how her 20 year old breasts made them want to time travel. After listening to hushed mumblings about her for the fifth morning in a row, I leaned into the two clowns and, pointing across the room at The Little One, whispered, "See that boy over there? I hear he loves Jesus. I'm gonna take him back to my room, read him some New Testament and fuck him." Just gangsta. And of course, it won me the respect of the boys from then on. What I didn't know was that somewhere in my naughty little head, there was truth in jest. But I did manage to leave Jesus out of it.

There will be more of THAT story to come. As well as other choice situations Cool Girl has conjured up. That is the point of this blog- to remind myself that Cool Girl does NOT WORK. And I must act like Freddy and slay her as many times as I possibly can so that she truly stays dead and buried.

The Little One comes back to the couch with a bounce in his step and beams as he says, "That really hot girl I was talking to last night is gonna try to get me a comp to see her sing with her band tonight." Funny how I sat through two and a half hours of his puking last night and now I've suddenly thrown up in my mouth.